Texas Tumbleweed

Hey, y’all! Come on up here on the porch, grab a glass of sweet tea, and I’ll share a little story with ya. Yes, It’s a true story and won me an award for All-Time Best a number of years ago for a contest to write my most embarrassing moment. Yep, I nailed it with this one and went on to win another contest with it.

Many years ago, during one of my mother’s battles with Cancer, I was at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center with her and my two children. It was an extremely windy day and while I was helping her back into the van, her wig blew off!

She grabbed her little bald head with both hands, screaming, “Kill it!”

I choked back a laugh while I stuffed her into the van and plopped my strappy heeled sandals into her lap, telling my twelve-year-old son and nine-year-old daughter, “Catch Mama’s wig!”

We took off running after that wig, as it tossed to and fro, dancing proudly like a Texas tumbleweed across the lot. I hollered at my son, “Head it off at the pass!”

“I’m trying to, Mom! It’s a speedy little bugger!”

My son was a speedy little bugger himself, from football and martial arts, but that dang wig did not wish to be caught. The entire time we were chasing that thing, my daughter continued to run behind me.

I finally turned towards her and barked, “Would you go get your GrandMama’s wig and stop chasin’ me?”

I didn’t understand at that moment, why she gave me such a bewildered look. About that time, a gust of wind blew my skirt clear up over my head, revealing my brand new pink Victoria Secrets. Ya know the ones with the string? So yeah, there was a full moon shining in the broad daylight!

I gave my best Marilyn pose and smiled, waving to the rapidly increasing crowd, who had come outside to watch all the excitement. My son ran up, wig in hand, grabbed my arm, snatching me rather unceremoniously towards the van.

We left and he never said another word until we came to the 1960 exit in Humble, “Mom, let’s go to the mall.”

I didn’t understand why he wanted to go to the mall that day, but it was lunchtime, so I turned into the mall. We often enjoyed the food court, where we would all ride the carousel after we ate.

I was surprised when he didn’t stop at the food court, but we continued to follow him straight into Victoria’s Secret. He went straight to a bin, scooping up two hands full of granny panties (yeah, they have ’em) and laid them on the counter. He waited patiently for me to sort through them to find which ones would fit and then I paid for them.

My poor, adolescent son was quite surprised to see his Mama, who taught Sunday School every week, wearin’ a pair of thongs! God loves him, and so do I. No, I don’t wear granny panties, but I’ve never worn a thong since!

I hope ya’ll enjoyed my little fashion faux pas. My now-grown children and I often laugh about that story.

Happy Birthday, Mackenzie!

Here’s a picture of my little Mackenzie on her First Birthday. She loves some Banana Pudding. She’s a hoot. She knows when I’m making it. She will smell those bananas, and sit right between my feet while I stir the custard. She makes me laugh.

Thanks for comin’ to visit. I look forward to the next time. Be blessed, y’all! XOX

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